I first became aware of the Testes Test by Lee Pitts when I was in a university remedial math class. I knew Mr. Pitts as a regular at the math lecture hall, and he was a funny, quirky man who was very enthusiastic about math. I had noticed him, and some of the other students, getting very excited when Mr. Pitts went on math tangents, and when we started talking after the lecture, I asked him about testes test.
A few years ago, a couple of men had a chance to experience a miracle. They were told that a doctor had found that their sperm was no longer producing sperm. The doctors told them that they had to get a vasectomy to get rid of their fertility.
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Lee Pitts is an independent columnist for The and Paso Robles Press; you can email them at [email protected] ” data-medium-file=”https://i2.wp.com/atascaderonews.com/wp-content/uploads/••KEEP••Lee-Pitts_Mug.jpg?fit=237%2C300&ssl=1″ data-large-file=”https://i2.wp.com/atascaderonews.com/wp-content/uploads/••KEEP••Lee-Pitts_Mug.jpg?fit=435%2C550&ssl=1″ src=”https://i2.wp.com/atascaderonews.com/wp-content/uploads/••KEEP••Lee-Pitts_Mug.jpg?resize=396%2C501&ssl=1″ alt=”” class=”wp-image-24805 jetpack-lazy-image” width=”396″ height=”501″ data-recalc-dims=”1″ data-lazy- data-lazy- data-lazy-src=”https://i2.wp.com/atascaderonews.com/wp-content/uploads/••KEEP••Lee-Pitts_Mug.jpg?resize=396%2C501&is-pending-load=1#038;ssl=1″ />Lee Pitts is an independent columnist for The and Paso Robles Press; you can email them at [email protected]
You’re not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.
One of the many advantages of being a syndicated columnist is that I get to read many of the excellent magazines in which my piece appears. A excellent example is the San Angelo, Texas-based Livestock Weekly. The Computer And The Cowboy, by C.A. Rodenberger, Ph.D., is one of the articles in that wonderful publication that I read regularly. “Scientists have discovered a technique to create male pigs, goats, and cattle that pass on desirable genetic characteristics from a donor rather than their own DNA in their offspring,” according to one of C.A.’s articles.
This implies that scientists have found out a method to mate your cows with a scrub bull since the bull is passing on the characteristics of the greatest bull in the world, not his own! “Scientists edited a fertility gene in the embryo of surrogate mice, then translated stem cells from a male donor into the surrogate’s testes” (OUCH! ), “so that offspring would carry only the donor’s genetic material, acting as surrogate fathers,” according to a study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Do you understand what this means? When mated to your cows, the worst bull conceivable, a light muscled, structurally wrong mongrel of a crossbred bull, might produce the finest calves in the world! For $700, you could purchase a Holstein x Corriente x Marchigiana bull from your local sale barn’s slaughter run and have this operation done on him, and he’d be passing on the genes of your choice of the best multi-trait leading bull of any breed. Can you image the heifer calves you’d receive as replacements?
We’re going to get through this together, Atascadero
I can’t tell what impact this treatment will have on purebred growers at this time. When I first began writing for livestock magazines 48 years ago, it was widely assumed that artificial insemination would be used by every commercial cowman in the country within a few years. That didn’t happen. And this “tests test” may turn out to be nothing more than a fascinating study for academics. However, it does open up some intriguing possibilities. You could, for example, produce your own bulls by holding back the end of your calf crop and without castrating certain bull calves. One of your bulls might breed his mother or sisters after the surgery, and there would be no risk of genetic abnormalities due to inbreeding. If one of your bulls becomes snuffy and attempts to murder you, all you have to do is perform a Winchester-otomy on him. It’s not like the bull cost you $10,000.
Imagine your surprise when a feeder calf buyer bought your calves and put them on the rail, was blown away by the carcass statistics, then approached you and said, “I must see your bull battery.” You must have the world’s finest range bulls!”
Then you show the buyer your herd sire battery, which includes a 900-pound pipe gutted #2 Okie, a 15-year-old lame Mexican stag, and a Holstein Jersey hybrid with less flesh than a Beyond Beef Burger. Consider the identity problems a mature anorexic dwarf bull who wouldn’t make a good box meal for a mountain lion would be experiencing as he stood atop a hill gazing down on all the beautiful offspring he sired. “ZOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE “Did I do it?”
The article did not specify how much the surgery on your bull’s testes would cost or if it would have to be done annually. Whether you asked your veterinarian today if he could perform the testes metamorphosis on the testicles of your bull, I’m quite sure he’d look at you like you belonged in the Loony Bin, the Funny Farm, the Mental Marriott, or the Haha Hilton.
The more I consider this intriguing concept, the more I hope it does not become popular. It would very certainly kill most purebred producers since just a few top bulls would be required, and without purebred producers, most of the livestock magazines that publish my column would go out of business without advertising for bull sales.
On second thinking, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.
As an example:
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In his new book, The Testes Test: The Men of Baseball’s Golden Age, Lee Pitts uncovers the secret lives of some of the greatest baseball players of all time. The Testes Test, as Pitts calls them, are the men who rattled the cage of baseball immortality, but who never lifted a World Series trophy.. Read more about dog testicular cancer picture and let us know what you think.
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